The Alternative Comedy Memorial Society

Permitted Heckles

  1. We appreciate what you’re trying to do!
  2. Tell us a joke! The one's you've been telling so far have been brilliant.*
  3. Could you speak a bit louder please?
  4. Would you like a woman to sort it out?
  5. Oh, Thom.
  6. I drew you a cat.**
  7. And yet.
  8. I/we love you, but not how you're being just right now.
  9. 'Buffy' didn't start till 1997!
  10. Twisted fire hazard!
  11. Stick it on the wall!
  12. Is it moral?
  13. [any prime number]
  14. Weird cuckold situation.
  15. Sounds a bit Catholic to me,[insert name here]!
  16. And also with you.[Or any of the other congregation responses from the Catholic mass.]
  17. It's Coronation Street!
  18. That'll help the iMDB.
  19. I've got a vest***!
  20. YES!

*Not permitted if said sarcastically.

**Only permitted if accompanied by a drawing of a cat. A MORALLY GOOD CAT. Inexplicably popular.

***Only permitted if you do indeed have a vest with you, if not on you.

Please note, the above heckles are only permitted at the Alternative Comedy Memorial Society (ACMS) shows. Purged heckles include the little used "Help - my friend here is having a stroke. Not really.", the initially practical "It's next to Espionage!", the fiscally unsound "Can I have Joz's tenner?", the admonitory "No more whisk[e]y for you!", and the cruelly accusatory "That's a Joe Pasquale joke, surely."

There is also a heckle permitted only at the ACMS Awards (typically held on our last show of the Fringe): "ting ting ting SPEECH".

There are different permitted heckles for use at the Alternative Alternative Comedy Memorial Society (AACMS) rival/splinter shows. These include:

  1. There's one in Worcester!
  2. Also creepy.
  3. Stick to your guns!
  4. That's a Tony Law joke, surely.
  5. Huzzah!
  6. Yes, you're the Third Earl of Right!